


Puppy, Not a Woman

by BluBooThalassophile



Series: HfaB Universe [14]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 10:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluBooThalassophile/pseuds/BluBooThalassophile
Summary: Selina and Damian are kind of going to get to know each other, if only to prevent a kidnapping at the first full family holidays.





	Puppy, Not a Woman

Selina kind of felt she was in over her head as she stared down at the miniversion of her lover who was holding handcuffs, ribbons, and a syringe. If it were anyone else she knew this entire situation would be misinterpreted, but this was the son of Batman who despite having more brains than most kids his age was still a kid, and had the emotional range of a typical Bat.

“No.” She folded her arms, her breasts thrumbed a little over the action and she hid the wince at their over sensitivity because of having a baby a month and a half earlier.

“But!”

“You cannot kidnap people and tie them up with bows to give to other people, that is slavery and a level of sexual assault and will be misinterpreted in so many different ways kid,” Selina stated firmly.

“But she’s perfect for him.”

Selina rolled her eyes, because she knew she wasn’t going to win against eleven year old logic here. She had loved Bats far too long to know that, so she decided to change routes. “Kid, put the kidnapping kit away, we’ll go shopping, and find something for ALL your siblings.”

“You…?” he looked so confused and Selina chuckled. “You’re not my mother, you can’t tell me what to do!” Damian snapped then, folding his arms in a huff.

“No, I’m not, thank God for that because if I was,” she started and the she wacked his sharply up the back side of the head. The kid stared owlishly at her. “I’d do that and tell you to stop acting like your idiot father!” she snapped.

Damian looked so confused then he glared at her. “You are inferior to my mother and can’t tell me what to do.”

“Oh am I, kid?” she purred leaning over, her hands on her knees and she watched a myriad of confusion play over the boy’s features. “Damian, put the amateur kidnapping kit away and get in the car, and if you’re not there in five minutes you will find out how ‘inferior’ your mother actually is. Test me kid.”

The challenge was issued, and she watched the Robin weigh his options before he stomped off. Selina walked to the garage and waited, it was six minutes when Damian stalked in, looking furious and defeated. If Selina was guessing this correctly, she could safely assume that Damian was curious about her and what they were going to do. Selina doubted very much that Talia had ever bothered to show the kid an ounce of true affection, and Selina was decided right now that she would change that. The kid was a kid, he deserved to feel affection, and to be cuffed when he had crossed lines, she was going to treat him like a kid, and maybe she wouldn’t be his mom, but she could help him out.

“I despise you,” Damian growled.

“That’s okay with me kid,” she said levelly, hiding the sting of his words.

Damian was pouting as she drove them to Gotham and she sighed as she pulled into her favorite dinner. Damian stared dumbly at it and she got out of the car.

“This isn’t shopping.”

“I’m a woman, we don’t shop on empty stomachs kid, come one, place is vegetarian too,” Selina smiled as she walked for the door. She heard muttered curses and she walked in, holding the door for the kid, he paused at her, looking uncertain now, she smiled a bit as she tilted her head for him to go in. Once they were seated Selina ordered her coffee; knowing full well B and Alfred would frown if they found out, but damn it she wanted her fucking coffee! Having a kid didn’t mean she just gave up everything to be a mom, it would be compromises and learning, and she adored Helena and Terry, but she was also Selina Kyle, not just a mom.

“Why are you doing this?” Damian sneered after about twenty minutes of silence, they were served waffles.

“Because Alfred, for the love of God, has never been able to make waffles and I want waffles.” Selina replied snarkily.

“Why are you doing this!?” Damian snapped gesturing to him and her in frustration.

“Look kid, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, I love your dad, and your brothers, and your sisters, and I think it’s time for you and I, to change our standings,” she said.

“That…” Damian started. “I have a mother,” he sneered.

“Do I look like I’m replacing your mother kid?” she demanded.

Now Damian flinched, and she saw a scared kid who was desperately screaming he wanted love and acceptance, but was going around it the wrong way. His mom had likely never shown him love or acceptance without something in exchange, and Selina didn’t know Talia personally, just knew of her.

“Kid, I’m not replacing your mom, but if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like a shot at getting to know you and hell, maybe we can even have a good relationship.”

“I… I’m not,” Damian looked like a kid now as he looked confused and scared.

“You’re B’s kid, which makes you my kid, but I’m not tolerating any superior bullshit kid, I’m from the Barrows, I can and will kick your ass, but I don’t want to. I want us to be good,” she stated.

“Why?” Damian stared at her with his green-blue eyes.

“Cause, you’re now my kid,” she stated.

“You would welcome your rival’s child into your home?” he sneered.

“I welcome you, I will totally kick your mom’s ass if she lays a hand on what’s mine, that includes you, kid.”

Damian frowned as he mulled this over.

“I’ll get you a kitten.”

“Father doesn’t allow us to have pets,” Damian stated.

“Well I’m not your father, I’m your dad’s baby mama and lover,” she chuckled. “I want us to be good kid,” she said softly.

“I… I will try.”

“Good. Now, we’re getting Jay a puppy not a person, and if I even see you thinking to abduct Raven to tie up in his bed then I will kick your ass. They’ll figure it out on their own,” Selina stated.

“Jason is an imbecile.”

“Well, he takes after his dad in this matter,” Selina mused.

“How?”

“Well, all you Bats take after B in this matter so trust me, he’s exactly like his dad.”


End file.
